Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
