i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
