On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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