just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
