I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
