I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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