I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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