please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize