i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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