I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
