well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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