I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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