what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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