please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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