They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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