She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You ruined the universe
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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