I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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