Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
