We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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