he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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