Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I touched a dick in church today
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