I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
