dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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