jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
