I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
