Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
