So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
