We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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