Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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