Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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