I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
