tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think I am morally bankrupt
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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