Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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