are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
