we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
