she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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