Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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