i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What a dumb baby whore.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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