thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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