Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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