dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
