his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
