hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She told me I should be a condom model.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
