Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
