cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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