Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
