Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Randomize
