Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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