dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
