So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
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I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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