so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
