so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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