Dual....:-)
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
