I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
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you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
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I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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