you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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