His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
