It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
