I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
