My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
two words: eviction party
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
