So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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