we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Floor bacon is actually really good
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
