I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
