bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize