somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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