I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
