I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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