lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
