remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
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My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
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i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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