They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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