Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
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