Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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