I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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