you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
