I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize