my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
