Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
