you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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