Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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