How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
