Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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