I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize