I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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