You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize