I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Randomize
