He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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